Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Throwing Off The Dock Lines

It all started about a year ago when we were feeling stuck.  Living tedious lives; working and feeling a lack of adventure or progress.  We had friends that were accomplishing amazing things that we wished we were a part of.   We are both adventurous and had talked about the adventures we wanted to have “someday”.  We knew that if we didn’t start to get serious we would get stuck in the monotony and conform to the lifestyle here in St. Thomas.
We started to make decisions.

What did we want to do?

Where did we want to go?

What is our timeline?

Is this possible?

How can we make this dream a reality?

We had a plan; we have worked hard to stick to the plan even though we have had to make a few adjustments when opportunities arose.  Now it is getting closer and closer to crunch time.  We still have so much to do, money to save, and then that moment when my fearful adventure will begin.

The moment when we take the dive into our adventure; cruising the Caribbean, traveling through the Panama Canal and making our way across the Pacific Ocean doing all this aboard our home S/V Pura Vida.  Not all of these plans are permanent. I don’t know if I will make it that far, but it is a goal.  A goal that has me stricken with fear!

I have taken sailing lessons; I have read books and blogs up the wazoo about similar adventures.  Hoping just hoping it will help me to face this fear.  I haven’t pin pointed the exact fear but have a list that are causing me anxiety and holding me back from accomplishing this dream.  Who knows which one is the biggest fear, but all of them combined are really quite a monster. 

Fear of the Unknown

Fear that anything can happen

Fear of being alone in the middle of nowhere

Fear that something will go wrong

Fear that something will happen to Jake
          These fears are practical, yet I am not a person who wants to live in fear.  Through life experience I have learned things don’t happen the way you think they will.   Life is unpredictable, life is short, and life is what we make it.  I want our life to be filled with adventure.  I want to FACE this FEAR!  I feel like my mind is all turned backwards from past experiences.  Instead of hiding from the unknown, I want my mind to embrace the unknown and see that the unknown is where I can learn and grow, experience life to the fullest and have adventure!  Instead as the time gets closer these fears fill up inside me, some days I want to burst into tears because of the frustration.  The fear has this tight grasp on me.  This grasp is the norm for me; it drives me crazy because I know why it’s there.  I have become familiar with it and have been fighting it for years now.  The fear that something bad is going to happen!  There it is! My biggest fear I want to face is SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAPPEN ON OUR ADVENTURE!! That sums up all the fears!   In my life experiences bad things have happened.   The biggest frustration is my mind will not release that grasp of fear that something bad will happen again
           I want to face this fear!  I face it daily, it has an impact on every aspect of life, but this will be the biggest FACE OFF!   To start doing this I have been reading a book by a fearful adventurer.  Her name is Torre DeRoche, her book is called Love with a Chance of Drowning. 
           This book is captivating.  The way she writes about her adventure is exciting and brave.  It makes me smile to read when she describes certain instances aboard their boat.  It is a whole new world living aboard, and it is fun to read the memoir of someone who is a “city girl” adapting to the lifestyle like I have.  I will be honest; Jake mentioned that I should stop reading the book when I told him I was having nightmares about some of the situations she was imagining might happen on her adventure.  Ha ha.  I told him I had to keep reading because she actually faced her fears and made it, and because I LOVE reading it.  Parts of the book, I feel like she is taking the thoughts right from my head, describing her fears and imagination of what will happen in those unknown situations. 

So this fearful adventurer has inspired me to write this post.  To be brave, and to face my fear!  

What is your opinion? How do you think I can face this fear for the big face off?

Love with a Chance of Drowning – A Memoir by Torre DeRocheThis post is part of the My Fearful Adventure series, which is celebrating the launch of Torre DeRoche’s debut book Love with a Chance of Drowning, a true adventure story about one girl’s leap into the deep end of her fears.
"Wow, what a book. Exciting. Dramatic. Honest. Torre DeRoche is an author to follow." Australian Associated Press
"… a story about conquering the fears that keep you from living your dreams."
"In her debut, DeRoche has penned such a beautiful, thrilling story you’ll have to remind yourself it’s not fiction." Courier Mail
Find out more…

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