Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Hard Decisions Are The WORST!

It has been over a month and I apologize.  A lot of change is taking place and I think it is time to lay it all out there.   

Our last passage to Boqueron, Puerto Rico was an overnight to give me some more experience.  Once again we had dolphins follow us in as we approached our anchorage.  I was anticipating this stop because a friend of mine from St. Thomas was currently there with her husband on their boat.  She is an experienced cruiser and has a lot of stories and advice to share.  Boqueron was a cute little town.  One morning my friend Steph, Jake and I  walked the beach for exercise which was refreshing.  It was wonderful to have the wisdom of a friend and the outdoors to look at the future.  With this stop came a few challenges on the boat.  Our refrigeration was not working properly and our alternator was not charging the way it should.  Both those issues were diagnosed with trial and error of what we thought might be the problem.  The alternator problem was able to be fixed however the refrigeration is still not working properly.  With boat problems and high anxiety (on my part) created a decision making moment that would change our future.  

My sweet friend Steph
Jake and I have lived on the boat for four years.  I was used to living on the boat.  I didn't mind it most of the time.  The things that frustrated me were, #1 I felt like I was living in a garage because when maintenance has to be done it is completed inside your living room, kitchen etc. #2 When you need a tool or a part it is most likely under the seat of the couch in storage and to get it out and put it back is like an ongoing game of Tetris. #3 Living on an boat, there is constantly something that needs to be repaired, fixed or checked.  I got used to all of these dislikes but still didn't love the idea of them.  

While we were in Boqueron, we evaluated our schedule with the boat repairs and knew we were in a time constraint.   We had a few choices: we could dock the boat in PR in a safe place and come back for it after our Mexico trip to continue our cruising, we could "blue water it" straight up to Florida without stopping at any other islands etc.  or I could fly back, and Jake and his dad would "blue water it" back to Florida.    This was the moment I had to decide what our future was going to be.  I was anxious about the time restraint, money, and still scared while sailing.  With lengthly conversations on what to do and a lot of tears it was my choice on what to do next.    I had to admit that the cruising and traveling full time on a boat wasn't for me. 

As I pondered all the options and spoke to family and friends for advice, I knew I needed to make a hard decision. The decision was one that would effect our future and our lives greatly.  It was a decision that made me feel like I let Jake down and crushed his dreams.  I had to be strong and make the difficult decision to fly to Florida and have Jake and his dad deliver the boat 10 days straight.  We decided that it was time for us to move forward and change our adventure.    

We aren't sure what our next adventure will be but we are in Florida staying at Jake's parents, our boat sits on their dock while were fix it up and decide what is next.  

When I made this decision I worried about the repercussions it would have with our blog and the outlook others would have on me.  I felt like a quitter, a failure and wasn't sure if anyone would even be interested in our life now that it isn't as exotic.  I worried that Jake would feel trapped in the normality of being in the states and always want more.  

Since being back in Florida, traveling to Mexico and settling a little more in Florida we are making this work.  We are still decided all our options and weighing them carefully but until we decide; we are safe, happy and excited for the future.  

So to those that follow for an escape from their monotonous schedules and days I hope that our stories will still be seen as an adventure.  We will go crazy without some sort of adventure, so here is to the next step.  Change is difficult and scary but we are looking for our next adventure and excited for the future.